Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
