can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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