Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
