look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
