I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
