my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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