She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
