I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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