did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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