atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
