My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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