PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
