Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
