I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
