It's Friday. Sex?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
