Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
