my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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