There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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