somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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