I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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