My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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