I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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