There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
