you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
