I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize