he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
