Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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