We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
