the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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