Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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