sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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