wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize