Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
