He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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