Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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