discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
