SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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