you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
