Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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