Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize