i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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