My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
People in love make me want to vomit
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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