I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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