Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
