If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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