I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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