every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
