We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
