Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
