Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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