can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
bring money and cleavage
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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