there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
