I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
